{"671568":{"#nid":"671568","#data":{"type":"news","title":"How to Talk to Someone Who Doesn\u2019t Share Your Views ","body":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAs families and friends gather during the holidays, conversations can turn to world events and politics. In a flash, what started as a pleasant chat devolves into a shouting match with Uncle Bob. Does it have to end this way? Or can we remain civil while disagreeing? \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u201cNeuroscience helps us to understand why we might get worked up during tense conversations,\u201d said Tiffiny Hughes-Troutman, professor of the practice in the School of Psychology. \u201cWhen one is working through sensitive and serious issues internally, emotions may run high.\u201d \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EHughes-Troutman said if a disagreement feels like a threat cognitively, a person\u2019s body can go into fight-or-flight mode, which takes control over rational thinking. In physiological terms, fight-or-flight may present as a fast heart rate, anxiety, increased perspiration, and other signs of stress. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u201cThe \u2018fight\u2019 contributes to intensified conflict and can show up when we come across too aggressively or shout,\u201d she said. \u201cThe \u2018flight\u2019 can lead us to withdraw or become disengaged from the discussion, and depending on the circumstance, this withdrawal can escalate the situation.\u201d \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EHughes-Troutman said it is possible to manage our emotions and enter productive and respectful discussions. She suggests employing the following strategies to facilitate the conversation: \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cul\u003E\r\n\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EFocus on the breath.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E Breath control helps us to concentrate on slow, deep breathing, calms our heart rate, and facilitates a state of presence and focus on the conversation. Breathing techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing can reverse the stress response.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\r\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cul\u003E\r\n\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAcknowledge your emotions and feelings.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E Both emotions and feelings are activated during difficult discussions. Emotions are physiological responses that originate as sensations in the body whereas feelings are influenced by our emotions and are generated from mental thoughts. Developing emotional awareness limits reactivity and promotes thoughtfulness and compassion.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\r\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cul\u003E\r\n\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EDon\u2019t rush the discussion.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E Recognizing the significance of psychological safety, it is important to devote enough time to have a thoughtful, productive discussion and to have such discussions in spaces where all parties feel comfortable.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\r\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cul\u003E\r\n\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ETake a break, if needed.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E Taking a break is not only an action, but also an effective communication skill that may result in a slower pace and more time for thoughtful reflection. The momentum to finish a conversation can feel compelling, but the better approach may be to say, \u201cI am feeling upset; can we take a 15-minute break?\u201d\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\r\n\u003C\/ul\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EEven under the best circumstances, the question remains \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u2014\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E can we overcome our differences? \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ESonia Alvarez-Robinson, associate vice president for Strategy and Organizational Effectiveness, uses a technique called polarity management for guidance. \u201cManaging polarities does not look for a right or wrong answer, a winner or loser, or even to make the polarities go away. Rather, it is a way to draw out the best parts of the differing viewpoints so that those involved can coexist in healthy and productive ways. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAlvarez-Robinson, who has a doctorate in human and organizational behavior, said if the differing viewpoints are ongoing \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u2014 and unlikely to change \u2014 and the people involved are interdependent, like a family or a work team, then the differences may not be solvable, but they can be managed.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u201cIn my 30 years of helping organizations improve performance and achieve their strategic goals, I have learned the only way for differences to be leveraged as a strength is by effectively managing polarities,\u201d she said. \u201cDiversity of thought does make human dynamics challenging, but it also can make an organization great.\u201d \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n","summary":"","format":"limited_html"}],"field_subtitle":"","field_summary":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003ESuggestions for having a civil discussion on sensitive issues.\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n","format":"limited_html"}],"field_summary_sentence":[{"value":"Suggestions for having a civil discussion on sensitive issues. "}],"uid":"27713","created_gmt":"2023-12-14 16:22:58","changed_gmt":"2023-12-21 15:14:21","author":"Victor Rogers","boilerplate_text":"","field_publication":"","field_article_url":"","dateline":{"date":"2023-12-14T00:00:00-05:00","iso_date":"2023-12-14T00:00:00-05:00","tz":"America\/New_York"},"extras":[],"hg_media":{"672580":{"id":"672580","type":"image","title":"Discussion","body":null,"created":"1702570475","gmt_created":"2023-12-14 16:14:35","changed":"1702570672","gmt_changed":"2023-12-14 16:17:52","alt":"illustration of a man and woman with thought bubbles above their heads","file":{"fid":"255848","name":"Discussion.jpg","image_path":"\/sites\/default\/files\/2023\/12\/14\/Discussion.jpg","image_full_path":"http:\/\/hg.gatech.edu\/\/sites\/default\/files\/2023\/12\/14\/Discussion.jpg","mime":"image\/jpeg","size":249425,"path_740":"http:\/\/hg.gatech.edu\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/740xx_scale\/public\/2023\/12\/14\/Discussion.jpg?itok=RjW8zprD"}}},"media_ids":["672580"],"related_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/news.gatech.edu\/news\/2023\/11\/09\/tips-managing-stress","title":"Tips for Managing Stress"}],"groups":[{"id":"1317","name":"News Briefs"},{"id":"1278","name":"College of Sciences"},{"id":"443951","name":"School of Psychology"}],"categories":[],"keywords":[{"id":"192249","name":"cos-community"}],"core_research_areas":[],"news_room_topics":[{"id":"71871","name":"Campus and Community"}],"event_categories":[],"invited_audience":[],"affiliations":[],"classification":[],"areas_of_expertise":[],"news_and_recent_appearances":[],"phone":[],"contact":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022victor.rogers@comm.gatech.edu\u0022\u003EVictor Rogers\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n\r\n\u003Cp\u003EInstitute Communications\u003C\/p\u003E\r\n","format":"limited_html"}],"email":[],"slides":[],"orientation":[],"userdata":""}}}